How to Break Up A CSI Fight
by Samsara Dallire
Summary: Greg and Hodges get into a fight and Nick breaks it up in an unexpected way. Based on a You Tube Video titled “How To Break Up a Cat Fight!” and George’s comments on Craig Ferguson about his time in a hospital. Warning. Gross contents.


How to Break Up a CSI Fight

_**Disclaimer:**_

_**These characters do not belong to me because if they did, well it would be a comedy.**_

_Synopsis: Greg and Hodges get into a fight and Nick breaks it up in an unexpected way. Based on a You Tube Video titled "How To Break Up a Cat Fight!" and George's comments on Craig Ferguson about his time in the hospital when he had back surgery.  
_

_**Warning: Please do not eat as you read this!**_

_**No flames. This is just for fun!**_

Greg Sanders had it with Hodges. Just plain had it.

His arrogance.

His petulance.

His smugness!

Greg had it.

In the break room, the CSI, Level 3 sat and watched Hodges play the latest addition of Lab Rats.

"You named a playing piece after me?" Greg grabbed the small wooden piece. The damn thing looked like one of those trolls. And its hair was green. He'd never had green hair in his life, ever!

Smiling triumphantly, Hodges sat at the table across from a fuming Greg Sanders, carefully laying his carrot sticks in small piles of threes as Wendy and Mandy watched annoyed and amused. Henry made his way out of the lab sensing something was about to brew and it wouldn't be good.

"Hey I was named Wendy Bims because I was buxom and clumsy." Wendy said noticing the ever-building tension in the air.

"I looked like one of those little trolls." Mandy said carefully looked at hers and tossed it back in the box before looking for a pop tart.

Greg looked at the bottom of his piece, reading the inscription, "Smart Allecky Spammer! You called me Spam!"

Now Greg considered himself a pretty tolerant fellow, but this latest escapade of Hodges was too much even for him.

Leaping over the table, he knocked Hodges over and the two began to wrestle in a heap on the floor.

"Oh my god!" Mandy jumped up and stood back, grabbing a fire extinguisher off the wall ready to pull the lever.

"Stop it! Stop it!" Wendy jumped up and down unsure of what to do as the two men fought each other, exchanging blows and smacks. Greg put his hands on Hodges throat, blood in his eye!

Just then, Nick Stokes walked in, or more correctly staggered, his denim shirt rumpled, his jeans a mess.

His face as white as cotton sheets, deep black circles under his brown eyes. He hadn't been looking well all morning after eating some questionable-looking mushroom soup at the diner.

"C'mon guys.." Nick said weekly, growing paler by the second, "C'mon..c'mon" His voice as squeaky as a pitiful kitten.

In a flash, he clasped his hands over his face, his eyes widened with surprise and thick white vomit projected itself threw his fingers as a deep, eerie gagging noise emerged from his chest. Remnants of the mushroom soup had made a U-Turn in his battered intestines and were now lying in a chunky puddle on the floor. Nick leaned over gasping as bits and bobs of vomit dripped from his hands and face. Even his beloved college ring did not escape the carnage!

The fighting stopped in a haste as Greg and Hodges jumped up and stood back, utter disgust apparent on their faces.

Everyone in the break room stood in shocked silence as Nick stood back up, grabbed some paper towels off the counter and wiped his face and hand. He snatched more towels, bent down carefully on one knee and slowly began to clean the mess.

No made an attempt to help him, but Hodges quickly grabbed a bottle of hand sanitizer and dropped it beside Nick, holding his nose the whole time.

Trembling, Nick pushed his way back onto his feet, moaning in pain and looked at his denim stained shirt in dismay then said with a crooked smile, "Guess I should go home and go to bed, right?" He huffed wearily trying to add humour to a mortifying situation. He knew he'd never live this one down.

Everyone nodded grimly as Greg retorted, "You think!" And shook his head as he had told Nick to go home five times already today and did he listen? Oh no! Of course not.

With a small wave, a red cheeks adding colour to his pale complexion. The sickly CSI faltered out of the room.

Everyone looked at each other, their noses still twitching from the dank smell as Wendy said, "Well, that's one way to stop a fight."

_A/N: I based this story on a video of two kittens fighting and one coming over stopping it by well..you know.._

_And George's interview with Craig Ferguson where he talked about vomiting on himself in front of a good looking nurse._


End file.
